Sailing the Storm: How to Support a Friend Through Divorce and Separation

Sailing the Storm: How to Support a Friend Through Divorce and Separation

Supporting a friend going through a divorce or separation is a sensitive and crucial task. It's important to offer empathy, understanding, and practical assistance while being mindful of what to say and what to do.

What to Do:

  1. Listen and Empathize: Be a good listener. Allow your friend to express their feelings without judgment. Offer a shoulder to cry on and a sympathetic ear.
  2. Avoid Unsolicited Advice: Don't offer advice unless your friend specifically asks for it. Divorce situations vary greatly, so it's best to let them seek professional guidance when necessary.
  3. Consult Professionals: Encourage your friend to consult a lawyer for legal matters and a doctor if they're struggling with anxiety or sleep issues. Be supportive and gentle when suggesting this.
  4. Maintain Confidentiality: Assure your friend that your conversations are confidential. They need to know they can trust you with their feelings and concerns.
  5. Use Text Messages: Understand that your friend may not feel up to talking on the phone or in person initially. Text messages can be a lifeline for communication during this challenging time.
  6. Offer Specific Help: Make concrete offers of assistance, such as taking care of the kids, leaving supplies at their door, or handling school pick-ups. Specific offers show you're willing to ease their burden.

What Not to Do:

  1. Avoid Probing Questions: Don't push for details about what happened or why the divorce is occurring. Let your friend share when they're ready.
  2. Don't Overemphasize the Future: While a positive attitude is crucial, avoid talking excessively about their future prospects, as it may be hard for them to envision it in the midst of trauma.
  3. Be Mindful of Dating: Don't assume they'll want to date again soon or ever! Respect their timeline for healing and potentially considering new relationships.
  4. Avoid Prescribing Solutions: Refrain from telling them they must see a psychologist or that they should go out for a night on the town. Everyone's healing process is unique, and they will seek professional help if they choose.

Being a supportive friend during a divorce or separation means offering a listening ear, practical assistance, and understanding without judgment. Text messages can be a lifeline for communication, and it's essential to respect your friend's individual healing journey and needs. Celebrate their new life once they've reached a point of equilibrium and are ready to move forward. Your care and empathy will never be forgotten.

Love Susannah xx

 

 

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